I've been meaning to write some sort of "reflection" post for a while. It has already been a crazy semester-tournaments all over the place, job interviews for this summer, midterms on midterms on midterms, and a crashed computer....needless to say I'm about ready to go back to Australia where I was most stressed about getting swooped by a magpie.
Since I've been abroad Berkeley feels different. Or I feel different in Berkeley. I suppose that's expected. It's soooo cheesy but I actually did learn a lot about myself last semester and it's cool to see how that manifests itself in Berkeley. I learned what kind of people I like to surround myself with, and have spent much more time with the people who mean the most to me, and making those relationships more significant. I appreciate friendships that are equal and have stopped putting effort into friendships where it's not reciprocated. That sounds harsh, but another thing I learned is that there's no point in beating around the bush-I've stopped saying things because I think it's what someone else wants to hear and saying "its okay" when I'm not okay with something.
I think the thing I miss the most is feeling one hundred percent in control of my life. How weird, right, to feel in control in a place you are unfamiliar with? But in Australia I was legitimately doing everything I wanted to do. I wanted to go into the city for lunch? Hopped on the bus the second I was craving the fresh food from the market. Felt like going shopping? Got myself to Indooroopilly and spent a bit of time looking around. Beer at lunch? Did it. Weekend in a completely different city? Tickets bought a few hours later. I was so spontaneous and really took advantage of my surroundings while still feeling like I had a handle on school, my health, and friends. Here, maybe we go to dinner somewhere cool on a Friday, but heading into San Francisco? It seems to take weeks of planning and doing homework ahead of time to feel okay spending a Saturday wandering the Haight.
My good friend Taylor, who's currently studying abroad in Jordan, noticed this too. She made the point in her blog that Americans are working all the time-we work in high school to work in college to work. In Jordan-and Australia-everyone is focused on life as a whole, not just the work aspect of it. That's something I'm trying really hard to find in Berkeley. As Tay noted, here it's almost like a competition-who can be the most stressed out? Who can work the hardest and be the busiest? That race is one I'd certainly like to get out of, and I'm trying to find that feeling of control I felt in Australia in familiar old Berkeley.
I think the only regret I have from last semester is not doing more personal writing. I wrote this blog and loved it, but I never really wrote anything down for myself. I probably had a lot of feelings and thoughts about all kinds of things and now I'll never remember them! What was I thinking while I was just wandering around campus? Or when I crossed the Sydney Harbor at sunset? Or when I first met some of the people who became my really close friends? (Jk then I was thinking TG I HAVE FRIENDS IN THIS PLACE).
The pictures from last semester literally cover my walls, and my mom turned all of my blog posts into this really cool scrapbook that's sitting on my desk. Not a day or even an hour goes by where something doesn't remind of Australia and through sometimes it makes me so sad not to be there anymore it more often than not has me grinning. I miss the Pink Palace, and the Vill with all that great food and the IGA with the fab gummy worms, and my frisbee team, and playing soccer in front of Emmanuel and running by the river and all of St. Lucia and the city and TIM TAMS WHY DO THEY NOT EXIST HERE
okay, take me back now please.
This is just a few of the ways last semester impacted me. I could talk about it for hours....so thanks to this other super cool blog, Bridge from Abroad, for giving me the opportunity to do so! My posts there are much more informational than story based, but check em out if you feel so inclined. The whole website has a lot of great advice for traveling and studying abroad.
Thanks for reading my rambling, pals.
Val
