The End

Sunday, November 23rd, who knows what time zone I'm even in. On the plane.

Wow.

So like...I studied abroad.

I moved to another country for 5 months and went to school there and traveled there and made friends there and well, lived.

And now that I'm on my way back none of it feels real. I'm so confused slash am in this weird air limbo so I legitimately have no idea what reality is. Thank goodness I got lucky enough to be sitting next to my amazing friend and housemate all the way to LA so some of this past semester feels like it actually happened.

If you knew me 2 years ago, you know that I was generally shy and dorky and afraid of putting myself out of my comfort zone. And if you know me now, you know I am certainly not shy or afraid but I am still pretty damn dorky. I don't really know when I gained some freaking self confidence, but I know going to Berkeley freshman fall kind of forced me to do that for myself. And it's really weird-this past semester is so similar to freshman fall. Study abroad throws you into this situation where you (most likely cough cough Dickinson kids) don't know anyone, don't know your way around, and you don't have any semblance of what your life is going to be like while you're there. I felt similar anxieties in moving to Australia that I did moving to Berkeley-who would I be living with, how would my classes be, would I be able to make friends and find my own little niche. Except this time, since I had already been through the HORRORS of being a freshman in a place like Berkeley, I knew I'd be able to make the best of it.

So I did.

At the beginning of the semester I thought my new housemates were insane. They went out more often than anybody I've ever known ever and ate whatever they felt like at whatever hour and were loud and hilarious, and I decided to embrace it rather than shy away from it like I might have a few years ago. Now I have 5 new, amazing, legitimately close friends who I would have been sorry to have never met. Carol, Syd, Court, Marth, Bridge, I love you guys and already miss you  even though I'm actually sitting next to Carol right now (she had a glass of wine and is now passed out, jsyk). The Pink Palace was both the most insane and the HOTTEST place I've ever lived (because no AC/Y'ALL  SO FINE MMHMMMMMM). 

I threw myself into frisbee, pestering the people in charge of the team way back in May long before I moved, knowing that I would find a community with ultimate people and I made SO many amazing friends. I met people who legitimately changed the way I think about things and treat others because they were just so darn nice. I have never met a just genuinely nicer group of people. I would name you all but I think it would take up too much space, but you know who you are. BUML games were the highlight of my week, with halftime handstands and lollies and the girls always in the fence and Beev's INSANE hammer fake like I was tricked every time and I was the one supposed to be looking for the disc in the air. And my Wednesday night team always made me laugh, and I think it was one of the only times I've ever been seen as an asset to go deep and catch the long throws...because, as Robdog 2 knows, I'M REALLY REALLY SHORT.

Reina, I was gonna write you your own paragraph, but I think the fact that we messaged each other every little detail of our days as it was happening and will probably continue to do so says it all. Slash I'll start crying again and the woman next to me will look at me like I'm insane...again...

I met so many amazing Australian kids and American kids and it freaks me out that none of you guys will be just around the corner anymore. Most of you are across the country, if not on the other side of the world. I'm calling for a reunion in California in like 5 years, okay? Message me for details.

So yeah, I dunno, it's all over. I cried as we were leaving the Pink Palace, in the airport twice, when we were flying over Brisbane, and just now as I was writing all that. Australia was not at all what I was expecting yet it exceeded my expectations in so many ways. And now I have a few really good excuses to come visit the east coast and Australia again.

I WANNA KEEP WRITING about how amazing my abroad experience was but I can feel it getting iterative so I'll just post some of my favorite pictures and we'll see what happens.

The first picture I have of the three of us...when we finally bought bedding after that first FREEZING night. Hard to imagine being freezing in Brisbane now, eh?

The only boy I kissed while in Australia

BAI BRISBANE

Wow yeah soooo….that sums up my semester.

A blog post is not sufficient but it'll have to do.

I've enjoyed writing this blog so much throughout the past four months. It was a fantastic way to keep track of all of the important things that I experienced. Thanks for reading (Mom, Grandma, various aunts, uncles, cousins, maybe a few of my friends, Max…) and I'm beyond thankful for this whole experience.

So now we go from #valgoestoaustralia to #valwenttoaustralia.

Time for some much needed "cool" weather and a decent burrito.

Love,

Val

Cats

ONE WEEK.
ONE WEEK AND THIS ENDS.
Woaahhhhhh.

It pretty much sucks that I'm spending my last few weeks here studying for finals, but I'm three down and one to go! At this point I'm just trynna spend as much time with my friends as possible before people start leaving.

Last week I had two finals, two days in a row. A few of my friends threw a big ol' party on the weekend to celebrate the end of the semester and to get everyone in one place again.

REINA

We also went to a really awesome free concert by Portugal. The Man. They're a great band and we even got a picture with them!

Reina's birthday was this week, so a bunch of us went for dinner Tuesday night at an Italian place in the city. Unfortunately I had an exam the day after her birthday so I was locked up all day, but Thursday a few of us attempted to go on a hike to celebrate.
...we got on the wrong bus and ended up in the city. So we took it as a sign and wandered around the botanical gardens instead.

typical

cool giant fig tree

The past few days have been really weird because of the G20 conference in Brisbane. We can't actually get anywhere cool because the buses are running really limited routes at really limited times...and it's also literally 106 degrees...so the library has been looking ppreeeeeeettttttty good.
Obama spoke at UQ on Saturday, but only like 250 Australian students who live in the dorms got tickets. Needless to say all of us American kids were a little annoyed.
But I watched the live stream from the air conditioned library with popcorn so it's okay. It was actually a really good speech! Even though Tony Abbott removed climate change from the G20 agenda (and generally doesn't seem to believe it's happening), Obama mention the importance of mitigation and adaptation and then said some cool stuff about gay and women's rights. I was impressed.

What else...
I posed as my friends' cat for their holiday card photos...

please note that most of these wine boxes were donated....not consumed...

Normal stuff.
These guys leave Tuesday and it's gonna be weird actually saying goodbye to people! I'm not ready for everyone to start leaving. Especially since I have one more final and it's not until Friday and it really sucks to spend my last week studying. BLECH NO THANKS

anyway, one week till I'm home! I expect to see some of you at Thanksgiving/when you're home for Thanksgiving Break/in the very near future. I'll probably write one last wrap up post once I get over the jet lag back home. But until then, thanks for reading! Australia's been a crazy adventure and I am so unbelievably grateful to have lived here for four months, traveled so much, and made really amazing friends.

See you guys soon!
#keen #cheers #mate

Ranting and Studying

University has this horrible, horrible way of making students feel stupid.
I go to UC Berkeley. I know, or at some point in my life I knew, I'm not stupid.

The last couple of days have been more than stressful, with finals looming and assignments from earlier in the semester being returned with grades I don't want and don't deserve and I've basically spent a lot of time questioning my ability to read, write, and even think.

People say Berkeley is a competitive school. And yeah, it was competitive to get into, and I have opinions on the whole application process that we can discuss another time, but I haven't felt the competitiveness on campus before. Maybe it's the classes I'm in. Maybe it's just me. But lately, while I've been in Australia, I have felt so much pressure to remain competitive. I think it's because the real world is about to be very real for me-1.5 years till graduation-and I'm panicking about how I can be competitive in said real world if I do poorly on this paper/in this class.

HOW AM I EXPECTED TO GET A JOB IF I CAN'T EVEN WRITE A DECENT POLICY BRIEF
WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING

Being surrounded by so many intelligent people who are consistently doing impressive things makes me feel like I'm doing nothing productive. My closest friends are engineers, students at Princeton, getting internships that set them up for full time jobs, doing research that gets them published papers...one of my roommates at home started college at 16 and is well on his way to becoming a stupidly successful doctor. And I'm over here making flashcards on the beach and joking that my major is basically recycling.

I realize that this seems like an overreaction. I also realize that it probably is an overreaction. I go to UC Berkeley. I am miles ahead of so many people. Like I said, because I surround myself with such successful people it's really easy to feel unsuccessful.

Anyway, I'm basically having an existential crisis bought on by a single bad grade and I'm both giving in to it and trying to tell myself that grades don't matter and you can still get to where you want to be with a messy transcript.
(Dad don't freak out my transcript isn't messy. This is for dramatic effect. Sort of.)